Story of an Indian in Italy
Its September 2022, with 5 years of work experience, here I am thinking if I should quit my job. How did I get here?
I have been in Italy since September 2014 and its exactly 8 years now. 3 years as a student in Piacenza and 5 years as an employee in telco-based software company in Modena. It’s been quite a journey. This last 8 years in Italy has contributed as much, if not more, as the previous 24 years of my life in Italy in shaping the kind of man I am now. From a believer to agnostic to an atheist. Interest in politics, programming, and few others. From short-tempered to not-so-short-tempered 😛.
The first year in Italy, was spent acclimating to the new place, Italian culture, food, people, system and the general way of life. My first attempt at learning the language was a huge disaster. It was in Piacenza when I was a student. The lessons were free, but the teacher did not know “Hello” in English. I thought this was not working. So, I quit. The second and third year, I met more fellow Indians, and started meeting more and more new people from around the world (who could speak English of course). Making more attempts at socializing knowing that I would eventually fail at it. Tried potlucks, pubs, clubs, and still nothing was happening. What was I even expecting to happen? Maybe new friends!? I first thought it was just because I was an introvert that everyone around me would rather socialize with someone else than me. But when I’m out my circle or in public, I still felt difficulty socializing. Or was it passive racism. Maybe a little bit in the pubs and clubs. But I can understand that. But given a situation I still have trouble telling which one is it.
Alas I graduate at the end of 3rd year of my 2-year program. And in 3 months I land a job at Empirix Italy SRL. A US headquartered, telco-based software company in Modena. So, I relocated to Modena. I missed no one since I had no friends. I embarked on a journey all by myself. Why? When I was in Piacenza, there was Sriram and when I was in India I lived with my parents. I was really excited and terrified. I am proud that I was brave enough to find out what was going to happen next in my life.
Anyway, in the year 2014, soon after moving to Modena, I did make one Italian friend. But it was only my neighbor who lived next door and we happened to meet climbing stairs. If it was the case that we were on different floors, I still would be here without even a single friend. Such is the culture here at least in apartments. You never know who lives next door.
I was hungry to learn data analytics, coding and more. I started going out, mostly alone, but language was always a barrier. I was way behind my peers/batch in communicating. The second attempt at language was in Modena, sponsored by the company, but it was not mandatory that I finish the course. The company was just kind enough to take it upon themself and finance me through it. The lessons were taught by this old gentleman who loved to talk more philosophy with me than teach Italian. And I was not the best student either. Lessons 2 days a week and still I would not complete the practice questions. Procrastinating it for some reason. Eventually, after couple of months, I did quit. But it did help me to an extent that I could now manage basic conversations. I know just enough to get in and out of trouble 😀. Maybe I should have spent more time and put in more efforts to learning the language. I don’t know what I was thinking or what plans I had about my future back then. I think I was living in the moment too much and had the least amount of responsibility ever in my life. It was a peaceful and serene phase of my life, no doubt. I swear things would have been even different for me now had I learnt the language properly, at least on the social front.
Things started going haywire when 2020 came. The dawn of the COVID. Tourist visa that Hema got soon after our marriage was a colossal waste. I got stuck in India for almost 6 months. Then end of 2020 then the 1st wave settled down I moved back to Italy to initiate the process for Family Reunion visa for Hema. And just went I thought things couldn’t get any harder, I hurt my elbow hard. Seeing that it going to take more than I anticipated, I again traveled to India in 2021 to make sure to bring Hema with me. But the corona virus had other plans. 2nd wave hit us so hard. Hema and I lost several family members. Things didn’t stop there for me. My stay permit was about to expire. I took my chances and booked a charted flight amidst of the global lockdown. Chennai to Amritsar to Milan. One of the craziest and stressful journeys ever in my life. That’s a whole other story maybe for another post.
Finished the final documentation required for Hema and travel to India again on 19 January 2022, hoping there wouldn’t be another COVID wave and even if there was one, I traveled back to Italy with Hema. Now it’s been almost 5 months that Hema and I and living by ourselves. I’m enjoying every moment with here. The occasional travel, never ending conversations, stupid jokes, silly fights, and the list goes on.
Lately I’ve been thinking about the promise I made Hema in 2019, that I would always try and do my best to support her in every possible way. It’s been a couple of months since she finished her professional course (CIMA). I am so proud of her and so happy. I know she has her own dreams and wishes about building a strong career. I am worried what will be next for her. I want to make sure she gets the best possible opportunities. This means that where we are right now in life is not maximizing the opportunities for her. And given the fact that I (and now also Hema) have no active social life or any friends and unable to support her career, feel that I need to relocate.
This is a huge endeavor. Either my company agrees and helps me to transfer within the company or its disagrees and I find myself another job in a country where we can both flourish. Right now, it seems UK and Ireland are the best options.
It’s hard to think life is not a race. But here I am, trying to push faster to settle down in a more comfortable living standard where we can both prosper. Why am I wanting to risk quitting this job in order to relocate? Is it the lack of social life and friends or my duty to support my wife? or maybe both.
Only time will tell how our life turns.